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More flags, More fear, Six Flags

For goodness sake, can somebody explain the Six Flags mascot? You know, old people are scary enough to kids. Then they gotta make him thrash about wildly, invading your space as you try to walk through the amusement park, flashing his hollow perma-grin at you and your children. He’s way too enthusiastic for a senior citizen – like molester enthusiastic. Remember that episode of Different Strokes when the WKRP guy tried to put the moves on Arnold and his friend? Old people aren’t supposed to be interested in the same stuff kids are. Okay? No, this guy is scary. He looks like Orville Redenbacher, just having survived a horrible fire and reconstructive surgery. He looks like Freddy Krueger – having just appeared in Pee Wee Herman’s dream and made off with his wardrobe. The dude is scary, and don’t get me started on that theme song.
Speaking of mascots, here’s a more lovable mascot that I know at least Marshall will recognize. This guy made baseball interesting, when I was a kid.
And finally, here’s a mascot that we can trust.


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